Podcast

5 Tips for Cultivating Long-Lasting Friendships

August 4, 2022

I'm Leanne!
Business

Free-spirited, passionate, and a creative soul. I'm also a writer, business owner, and podcast host dedicated to living a life that feels good and lights me up from the inside out.

Free-spirited, passionate, and a creative soul. I'm also a writer, business owner, and podcast host dedicated to living a life that feels good and lights me up from the inside out.

Free-spirited, passionate, and a creative soul. I'm also a writer, business owner, and podcast host dedicated to living a life that feels good and lights me up from the inside out.

Free-spirited, passionate, and a creative soul. I'm also a writer, business owner, and podcast host dedicated to living a life that feels good and lights me up from the inside out.

hello,

Podcast
LifeStyle
Personal growth

Apple Podcast | Spotify

With Special Guest, Chelsea Newton

Not-so-fun fact: The majority of friendships only last 7 years…

The good news fact: If you want to cultivate friendships that stand the test of time, you’ll want the advice Leanne and her long-time friend, Chelsea Newton, a Senior HR Leader and Professional Certified Executive Coach, share on today’s episode of the GlowJo.

You’ll learn how they’ve maintained their longtime friendship through world travels, job changes, parenthood, and more, without losing connection with each other.

You’ll also learn their top 5 tips for nurturing lifelong friendships and Chelsea shares practical exercise that will help you get started today!

Here are the highlights from this episode:

  • Why you should listen to your intuition when it comes to your friends
  • How friendships are like bank accounts
  • 5 tips for cultivating lifelong friendships
  • How to improve your listening skills
  • The glass ball exercise
  • And so much more!

“Giving someone your undivided attention is actually one of the most special, rare gifts that we can receive.” -Leanne

Join us in The GlowJo for an episode all about friendships and how to maintain them for a lifetime…

Enjoy!

Resources:

Chelsea’s Talent Formula website

Chelsea on Instagram 

Chelsea Newton on LinkedIn

Connect with Leanne:

On Instagram @leannekallal and @theglowjo

Sign up for The GlowJo newsletter at www.theglowjo.com

Request topics or guests with an email to hello@theglowjo.com

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

(NOTE: This is an auto-generated transcript and will likely have spelling errors. I hope it still serves you and is useful :))

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to another episode of the glow Joe podcast. I’m your host, Leanne Callal and as always. Thank you for joining me. And if you are new, welcome, I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you today. And I will say I’m a little nervous.

I’m usually not nervous. I’ve recorded a lot of podcast episodes by now, but I am excited slash a little nervous because today I have a very special guest in the Glo Joe recording studio with me for the very first time. And it is extremely fitting that I have this guest with me today and you will meet her soon.

She is quite the woman. Today we are talking about how to cultivate, fulfilling friendships, why they are so important. And then we’re going to share five tips on how you can cultivate more fulfilling relationships in your life, 

before I introduce my special guest of honor today, I want to share a couple of statistics that we came across when we were researching and [00:01:00] preparing for this episode together. 

So the first statistic I wanna share with you is something that I found in the Washington post.com.

Here it is. I’m going to quote and read this directly. In a 2015 analysis that compiled data on more than 3.4 million people across 70 studies, she and colleagues found that the absence of social connections carried the same health risk as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. What that’s wild loneliness led to worse outcomes than obesity and the findings held true for people of all ages early on.

It seemed possible that healthier people might simply make more friends, but a growing body of research suggests instead that good relationships actually lead to better health. One clue comes from studies that begin with a large group of healthy people and follow them for decades.

Experimental work on animals has also linked isolation with earlier death and plenty of [00:02:00] studies have revealed biological theories that may explain what makes us healthier when we feel support. Lower blood pressure, better hormone function. Stronger immune systems and possibly lower levels of inflammation.

Those are a lot of health benefits. And so to me, when I read this excerpt from this study, it really reinforces the importance of friendships in our life and the importance of developing these strong, long lasting, deep bonds that can carry us through a lifetime. 

Now the other thing that we found when we were doing our research is that a 2009 Dutch study found that a majority of friendships only last about seven years now, we found this seven year thing. In a few different places.

And so there’s some definitely something to this. The person I’m about to introduce you to has been my friend for almost 20 years, we have an extremely, extremely special friendship. We have a deep lasting bond. And when we were out for a long walk [00:03:00] today, after our fabulous brunch and some mimosas and lots of coffee on the rooftop, we got talking about the special friendship that we’ve developed and we decided.

Let’s make a podcast episode about this and let’s share some of the things that we’ve done together as well as with other important relationships in our life. 

So without further ado, I am so honored and excited to introduce you to the wonderful, the fabulous Chelsea Newton, Chelsea and I first met back in 2004. That’s a long time ago. And she actually was my manager to this date she is one of the best bosses that I have ever had.

I felt so supported. I learned so much from her. And from there we developed this really beautiful friendship. Chelsea is an HR professional. She is also a professional executive coach. I’ve hired her for coaching over the years. And then I feel so fortunate to be friends with her because I get the benefits of this incredible skill set that she has. She is a [00:04:00] mother of two incredible children and recently a P mom as well. They have a newest, new, cute puppy addition to their family. She’s a wife, she’s a daughter, she’s a sister. And most importantly, at least for me, she is an incredible friend.

And so everyone let’s welcome Chelsea. And let’s let the good times roll. 

Chelsea. Welcome to the glow Joe podcast. It is so wonderful to have you here today. Oh my gosh. Leanne. I’m like so excited to be here.

I love the glow Joe podcast. Yes. And obviously love you. And so it’s awesome to be supportive of it, a listener, and also now be a guest. I know this is so exciting and you have been. Well, you’ve always been such an incredible supportive friend and a support system. And from day one with the glow, Joe, you have been like, feel like you’re my fan.

not, not the only fan, but you’ve been so supportive, checking in listening, and I’ve appreciated it so much. So thank you. It’s honestly a feel good moment of my week. I go up for a [00:05:00] walk. I listen to your podcast. I love. Awesome. Chelsea’s visiting me in Vancouver right now. And so we’ve had an incredible, it’s just been so nice to catch up with you. Yeah. We haven’t seen each other for almost three years or like two and a half years probably. Yeah. 

So to get started today, I just wanna open it up by talking about. Our own friendship mm-hmm and reflecting on that and sort of the different seasons that it’s gone through and how it’s continued to grow and evolve, and then really get into these five tips that we’ve come up with for cultivating and deepening, fulfilling friendships.

 I wanna turn it over to you first too. Do you wanna share anything about yourself that I didn’t cover? And then what’s your take on friendship? I’d love to hear cuz you are truly such an incredible. Oh, yeah. And I feel like I’m blushing. Number one. that’s good. number two. I just am so excited to be here.

This is a topic I’m so passionate about and both in my professional life, as well as obviously my personal life. And I love [00:06:00] that we’re talking about the seasons of friendship. Yes. And the statistic you shared earlier. So. Interesting to me about the seven years, because you know, they also talk about how yourselves rejuvenate in seven years, you were sharing with me about how your life can change.

So drastically in seven years, you can meet someone. You can move, you could get married, you could have children, seven careers,

good, the bad ugly associated with seven years. And you know, not a lot of friendships stand the test of time. Yeah. Right. Who we are in. Teens. And then our twenties and our thirties and our forties is very different. Right. And sometimes the friends that we have are there for the season, right? Yeah. And they fulfill this amazing moment in time for us, but aren’t necessarily meant to be in our lives long term.

And I think I’m very lucky that I have quite a few friends easy that are, I would call lifelong friends. Yeah. Friends that were hitting that 20 plus year mark. And you may not see each other in person. Yeah. Or even virtually that often. But when you get together, [00:07:00] it’s like a moment. Has not gone by. Yeah.

Great. You just pick up where you left. That’s rough. And I love that. I got chills, honestly, like, and it’s warm in here. I dunno if you can see this anyways, chills all over. I usually get chills in episodes, but just as you were talking, I’m like, yes, yes, yes. All of this. Right. And there’s something that’s so valuable about a friend.

That’s been a long term friend. Yeah. They know your history, they know kind of fundamentally your DNA. Yeah. The evolution you’ve gone through as a person, a professional as. A grown up and they know your parents. Mm-hmm, , you know, siblings, some of the, you know, love the good, the bad, the ugly, again, back to all that again.

Yeah. And there’s history there, right? Mm-hmm and that history just lays this amazing foundation of friendship. And then you have these wonderful walls that you can build on and you can keep building extensions as kind of life changes and not all friends are meant to be that friend yeah. In your life.

Yeah. But I’m very lucky that you’re one of those in. Yes. Oh my gosh. That was incredible. You’re so well spoken. 

So I love how you talked about the different [00:08:00] seasons mm-hmm . And you know, when there is that Saint people are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime, I think it’s safe to say we are lifers. That is for sure we’re in we’re we’re in. And I like you.

I feel very fortunate that I have really deep, fulfilling, rich friendships. Yeah. With quite a few people, not a ton, I’m still a quality over quantity type of gal that’s for sure. And I really believe in that and we’ll talk about sort. The importance of nurturing and prioritizing and all of that.

 But the one other thing too, that I think is really interesting about our friendship. And when I look at other friendships is being able to sort of evolve and cross like, and play different roles. Mm-hmm and so our friendship started off very professional. Yeah. You were, she’s like a tough cookie I have heard that before.

Yeah. His high standards and expectations, but I love you for it. And you are such a professional and so meticulous in what you do. Mm-hmm I learned so much working with you. And I felt like I was able to be a better version of myself [00:09:00] professionally because of that. And then it was just so interesting how we went from a professional relationship to a friendship mm-hmm and we started to cultivate that friendship.

And then over the years, I’ve hired you to coach me, and vice versa. We’ve helped each other in these different ways. And so what are your thoughts on the various roles? That friendships play in our life and how they kind of ebb and flow and evolve through the seasons. I think you have to listen to your intuition on that one, right?

Like I think sometimes you meet someone and you don’t know why you can’t put your finger on it, but you just know they’re meant to be in your life. Right. Yeah. And, you know, we had a professional relationship and at the time that’s what it needed to be. Right. Yeah. And I’ve always, we’ve talked about this before, is that you’re a leader first in a friend second when you’re in a professional engagement mm-hmm and I think sometimes people forget that boundary. And I also see that even as a parent, people wanna be friends with their kids and not a parent and you actually have to help guide them. And sometimes that’s also, you know, giving the not so fun lessons [00:10:00] and saying no and, and guiding, so they help grow up. Right.

Mm-hmm and that’s kind of your role as a, a leader yeah. In a professional setting as well. But I think when we both met, we just knew there was something more there. Right. And then after we were done, You know, kind of officially working together. Yeah. It was like, Hey, do you wanna have dinner? Do you wanna have lunch?

And, and then we grew from there. So I think, you know, step one of that to me is listen to your intuition. Yeah. Be in tune with those people that when you spend time, you feel good and you know, it’s kind of fueling, you’re feel good. You’re right. It’s connected to the glow, Joe and I always describe our friendship to my husband is I just.

Build up when I spend time with Leanne. So, you know, some relationships are kinda like bank accounts. Yes. Some of them are deposits and some of them are withdrawals. Yep. And our friendship is always a deposit. Yeah. And I just always feel when I spend time with you, when I text with you, when we have a phone call or a catch up, I just feel better and more energized and just so positive about my time.

And so I think it’s like staying [00:11:00] connected to how you feel when you’re around certain people. 

Yeah. That’s brilliant. I love that. It’s so important to pay attention to how we feel when we’re around people. Yeah. This is something that I call energy management. I think everybody needs to know more about energy management and do it, and it might sound boring.

And I know for me, when people over the years are like, you should do some time tracking to look at your productivity. I’m like, no way I don’t wanna do it. I’ve had resistance. And I do it. I’m like, wow, mind blowing. This is the same with energy management, because I think we get so used to being in certain situations or around certain people mm-hmm and feeling a certain way.

And we might not even realize that, oh, this person’s draining us or this situation is draining us. Or every time I hang out with this friend, mm-hmm , I actually feel. Like kind of insecure or a little off, or I’m second guessing myself, or I’m triggered about something. And it’s just so interesting for me, because I feel the same with you.

I’m always energized. We always have fun. We can spend a lot of time together lot. Yeah. And we always [00:12:00] have things to talk about. . And aside from that though, it’s like, it does, it always feels good and I always feel so supported by you. Mm-hmm and. Seen and understood. And that’s rare. So thank you for being the type of person who sees and for everyone listening, this is how well Chelsea knows.

It was probably a year ago. I get a message from her and she’s like, Hey, did a package show up at your house? Like a little pack, a little gift from me for you. And I’m like, uh, I don’t know. And then it hit me and I was like, oh my God, that’s who the mug is from. It’s the most beautiful mug from anthropology.

And I was actually looking at that mug. I had it in my shopping cart and I didn’t, I. I don’t remember buying this mug when it just showed up, cuz the note wasn’t there, but this random mug shows up and I’m like, oh, I guess I would’ve bought it. And I didn’t realize, and it turns out it was from Chelsea.

She picked out the exact same mug that I had in my cart, but decided not to buy. And so you just know me so well and you’re so thoughtful as well. And I think that’s something that makes a good [00:13:00] friend is being thoughtful and spontaneous. Mm-hmm spontaneous. You know, little touch points along the way.

And you’re so great at that.

You know, I credit my mom with that. Yeah. My mom is like the queen of the written note. Yes. And she always shares, you know, just little touch points. Yeah. I’m thinking about you or you get a, a random card in the mail, right? Yeah. And I thinks. Especially through the COVID world that we’ve just gone through when we’ve isolated from our friends.

True and been afraid. That’s true to see them. Is that showing them, you care in a unique way is important, right? Yeah. And I think in today’s day and age where we’re online, we’re on video all day long. Mm-hmm , , we’re tired. We don’t wanna call people on the phone. So it’s easier to send an email or a text or a, you know, DM on Instagram, et cetera.

But that’s not how you cultivate friendships. Yeah. Right? Like those are nice touch points, but you actually need to spend time and invest in people. And, you know, the people that fill you up. Yeah. It’s worth that late night phone call. It is right. Because you actually feel good after it. Yeah. And it’s actually recognizing that that’s important in prioritizing that.

Yeah. I love that. And do [00:14:00] you know what my mom is really thoughtful as well? Mm-hmm I get cards from her, so hi mom. Thank you. Maybe it’s a Jan thing. Maybe it is both of our mom’s names are Jan. So hi, Chelsea’s Jen. And hi, my Jen, But my mom is really thoughtful. I get a lot of cards and then I get gifts from her, even if it’s like just a magazine mm-hmm , but then she goes through the magazines and we’ll leave little notes, like, oh, I think you would like this and she’ll leave what she likes.

And that’s so thoughtful. Mm-hmm and it’s just like, oh, it lets you know, that that person is thinking about you she’ll send me things on home design as you know, I love home design. Yeah. And it just shows like they’re paying attention to what matters.

Those little things can go such a long way. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think it takes time. Right? Yeah. And, and not everyone is just naturally thoughtful. Yeah. Yeah. But for those friendships that matter, it’s, you know, putting a note in your calendar once a quarter, right. I wanna touch base with someone or I wanna send a postcard or yeah.

You know, like I have a box of just stationary and cards that I like to just pull out and send cards randomly. Right. And [00:15:00] so it’s. Making a moment in time to tell someone that you care about them. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Making a moment in time. So everybody listening, this is your homework of the day. Make a moment in time to reach out to a friend and let someone know that you are thinking of them and share what you appreciate about them.

I think that it’s so easy to take for grant, like take friendships and people for granted mm-hmm and we just assume that they know, like, of course I appreciate you, but hearing it and hearing what. You are appreciated for or what someone appreciates and you can be so fulfilling. Yeah. And so transformative.

All right. So enough Chi chat about us. It’s time to share the five tips for cultivating fulfilling friendships in your life.

Chelsea, take it away. So tip number one that we came up with and I think by our stories, yeah. You see, we do, this is being supportive and being supportive is about being there for your friend yeah. For their benefit and being their cheerleader and cheering them on [00:16:00] and truly being there for the betterment of them and sometimes actually standing in their potential for them.

Yes. And making them believe that they can get there and go there. Yeah. Right. And that’s being supportive in the good times. That’s being supportive in the not so good times. And it’s about really helping them kind of push through that and move forward. Yeah. So being supportive is tip number one. Yeah.

And you are such a supportive friend. Do you have any advice on how people can be more supportive? I think it’s actually connected to some of our other lessons about listening. Oh, right. So we’ll definitely talk about that one. And I think it’s about making time for people. Yep. Right. And you know, there’s a wonderful quote I wanna share actually from Adam Grant, who’s an I oncologist.

He’s so good. Who is awesome. And I use this a lot in my coaching practice and he says it’s easy to be a critic or a cheerleader. It’s hard to be a coach. And I would use the word coach or friends interchangeably in this one. A critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self, a cheerleader, sees your strengths and celebrates your best self.[00:17:00] 

A coach or a friend mm-hmm, sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself. Mm. And so to me, it’s about being there for our friends. Yeah. But also not. Sugar coding things. Yeah. Sometimes when we need to have real conversations and of course you need the right foundation to do that.

Yeah. Um, but it’s about being kind and giving feedback and, and also offering insights or food for thought mm-hmm yeah. That might help them maybe see how they’re showing up in a situation or someone else’s perspective, but it’s about being supportive and kind of standing in their potential sometimes for them and really cheering them on.

Yeah. Right. And cheering, like being a cheerleader is a part of it, but it’s also. Really kind of being more than a cheerleader, not just kind of glossing over and talking about the great things, but having real authentic conversations. Yeah. I love that. And I love how you said it is about showing up for the good, the bad.

Yeah. The ugly. And yeah, you’re so supportive. 

Okay. So on to tip number two, tip number two is [00:18:00] authenticity be authentic. I think that this is such an important piece to cultivating the deep, true, real friendships. Anyone can show up and be surface level. And I have surface level friendships in my life. They serve a purpose. They, you know, it’s like, we’ll get together. We have fun. Yeah. But there’s not the depth there. And I think that a lot of that comes from the. Openness or the willingness to be vulnerable and showing up as our authentic selves.

 And so I know for me, one of the things that I make an effort in, in doing is to show up as my true self when I’m not feeling great. If I feel insecure about something, being honest about what’s going on in my life, because that is the reality, that’s the truth.

That’s who I am. And I do think that when you’re open and you share all of you. People love that mm-hmm are the right people now not everyone deserves this. Yep. And I love what Brene brown says. She [00:19:00] talks about. Being vulnerable and how, just because you wanna commit to being vulnerable doesn’t mean that you need to go tell everyone and their dog, your worst secrets and open up about all of these things.

It’s an earned trust. And so I think being vulnerable and practicing authenticity and bringing your whole self to the table, not being afraid to share some of those dark deep, hidden things or insecurities can make friendships so much more real. The bond is there. And then. People are connecting with the true you.

And I think that really, yeah. It’s just like, it brings this special kind of ooey gooeyness. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s about being real, right? Yeah. Cause that’s what we’re talking about. Like you said, it’s about, you know, some of those insecurities mm-hmm or a tough day, or you’re not feeling well, or you need support on something.

And that really connects to a third point. Yes. Right. Which is the give and take of friendship, Uhhuh. And you know, someone once said to me that. Friendships are not 50, 50 mm-hmm so sometimes they’re 70, 30, sometimes they’re 40, [00:20:00] 60, and sometimes your friend needs you a bit more and sometimes you need your friend a bit more.

Mm-hmm , that’s true. And the really good friendships though. Ebb and flow, right? Yeah. And so when we talk about kind of paying attention to how you feel, and that kind of analogy that I provided on deposits and withdrawals. If you spend time with someone and you always feel like it’s a withdrawal. Yeah. So you always feel kind of depleted and your energy’s gone, then that’s something to pay attention to.

Yeah. Because good friends should be more give and take. Yeah. And it’s about you knowing when you need to give, and sometimes you actually just say like, I need you. Yes. And I need you to listen, or I need you to be there for me, or I need you to hold me accountable or I need a pep talk on this. Mm-hmm . I need your help.

I need your support. And so that is a real connection on the give and take. Yeah. And it’s also about the evolution. Yes. And we kind of shared that in our story about how we started as leaders and then it evolves in, we haven’t lived in the same city in yeah. Years. I don’t know, like 10 plus 12 more. Plus years, probably like you were Malaysia.

You’re you’re right in [00:21:00] 2008, I think. Yeah. Right. You were Malaysia. I was working out of Edmonton, then Toronto, then I was traveling and I was in China for work. So of course I’m like lean. How about I hop over from Shane, which is so nice to kale for a week. We had the best trip we really did. And then I was on mat leave with my daughter and we planned a girls trip.

Yes. In, Phoenix and Sedona with, you know, a 10 month mini. Yes. And we rolled with it and we developed. New practices and, and new techniques that now Leanne and Lily are quite good friends. Yes we are. 

And I think that it shows the beautiful evolution and how we were able to still. Look at everything.

What was important to you? What were your needs? What were Lily’s needs? Yeah, what was important to me? And we were able to have the most incredible time. Yeah. Like you were working. Yeah. And then I would hang out with Lily and we’d be, I mean, she was a big fan of the pool. Yes. We spent a lot time in the pool and then we’d reconnect for lunch and she’d have a nap and we’d have a visit and then we’d get her of bed and we’d have like the most [00:22:00] amazing.

And prep these awesome dinners and she loves it. And she looks back on photos and, you know, connects on you and you mail her postcard. I do. And she loves them or sent her beautiful books. And Lily was quite devastated that I was coming to Vancouver, to her friend Ann without her. And it’s about the evolution.

Yeah. So like you are creating a connection with my daughter and my son. In a way that’s important to me. Yeah. And important to you. So you are embracing my new phase of life, right? Yeah. And so that give and take and that rolling with the evolution. Yeah. Is our third very important tip. 

All right. So on to number four, tip number four is be a good confidant. Be a good listener.

This can be easier said than done. I know that at times, at least for me, I’ll want to go into problem solving mode. Right away. And I remember, and you know, I really appreciate this about my mom. I remember one time. Well, and I think it took us a while to get here, [00:23:00] but I would phone and I’d be upset about something and she would just go into like solutions mode.

And I just wanted to be heard. I just wanted someone to listen to me. And then over time she would ask me, do you want me to just listen? Or do you want me to provide. Support or solutions. And I think that this is one of the really important roles that friends play. Being able to be a good listener and be there to support whether somebody needs to cry or vent or brainstorm about a business or idea or something at work or careers, but being able to show up how your friend needs you to show up.

And again, this kind of links back to the give and take and everything we’ve talked about. So you’re such a good listener. Oh, you know, it’s so funny because I joke around, cause I did my executive coaching course, which was a ton of work for a year period. And I joke around that I paid a lot of money to learn how to listen. Yeah. Is kinda my skillset at the time. And. Listening is hard, especially [00:24:00] for extroverts, right? Yeah. Because we’re listening and trying to think about what we wanna say next. Yeah. And it’s actually about listening to hear what they’re saying. Yeah. And taking that in, not about speaking yes.

Immediately after. Right. And so it took me a long time to listen. Yeah. And when I first started coaching, I literally had a post-it note mm-hmm on my notebook that I wrote, listen in capital. To remind myself that I was there to listen, not solve, not answer, not mentor, not give advice, not be a leader. And it’s something I have to work on all the time.

Cause I would say it was not a natural skill for me. Yeah. And so what have you learned because you are such an incredible listener and one of the ways that I feel so supported by you is when we have conversations, you always reflect back and you’ll be like, let me just recap what I think you’re saying or let me just clarify mm-hmm um, and to me, that shows, oh, She listens.

She gets me, she understands. And you truly are. You’re an incredible listener. So tips please, because I [00:25:00] know I can be a better listener at times. That’s for sure. You know, I think I’ve got some great training. So some practical tips are clarifying and confirming, right? Yeah. So, you know, I think what I heard you say was X, Y, and Z.

Did I hit the mark? Did I not? Um, that’s kind of the clarifying and confirming part. Right. So it’s almost like paraphrasing what you heard back to someone or, you know, also listening beyond the words, right? Yes. So, you know, when you were talking about that, you got really excited yeah. About this. Tell me more about that.

Yeah. So it’s like kind of those like open ended probing questions is also a great way to kind of listen and make someone feel heard and appreciated and dig a little deeper. Yeah. And those. Really like basic communication techniques that I learned through work back in our mosaic day. Yes. That’s true. Um, also through, you know, coach training.

Yeah. And it’s about really pausing as well. So I think especially as extroverts wanna jump in right. And pausing feels uncomfortable. Mm-hmm and we actually learned a technique of waiting three seconds. Mm. [00:26:00] So if someone speaks and you pause mm-hmm and like at first you literally. You know, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.

They might actually keep going on something and that shows them you’re listening. Yeah. Versus just jumping in to share something about you got it. Right. And knowing when the conversation is not that back and forth on right. Oh, well you said that about your life and here’s something about my life, but if you’re truly talking about.

Something that’s important to someone be in the moment with them. It’s not about you at that moment. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That’s what came to mind for me was being present. Mm-hmm now there are times when I talk with friends and we are both multitasking. Yeah. And it’s like, we’re almost just keeping each other company, like, you know, we’re talking, we’re like half listening and we’re both totally fine with that.

But there are times where it’s like, no, it is your role to show up, be present, be open. This is about them. And I think that it really is about quality time, but quality attention. Yeah. And to me, giving someone like your undivided attention is actually one of the [00:27:00] most special, like rare gifts that we can receive.

And. When somebody is attentive to you when they’re truly there to listen to support to honor, it’s a really nourishing feeling. Yeah. And it’s holding that space sacred, right? Yeah. Like you and I talked about that in our friendship, we have rituals, right? So we often spend Christmas Eve together and you joined my family for that.

And that’s a ritual. And even my mom said this morning, say hi to Leanne. I really missed her on Christmas Eve. And so it’s holding. Space sacred for your friend mm-hmm . And that brings us to tip number five, look at the ebb and flow. I love, I love tip number five. This was like fine blowing when we were on the walk today.

So this is about prioritizing your friendships and investing in them. Mm-hmm and that is about the time. Yes. Right? And so it’s not about all the time in the world, right? Mm-hmm like we. Often working, we have other relationships. We have kids, we have priorities, we have workouts, et cetera that we need to fit in.

But it’s about creating space for our friendships. Yeah. And it might not be in every day. It might not be in every [00:28:00] month. It might, might not even be in every quarter, but how do you make it work? Right. So we laughed. I took a 6:30 AM flight this morning from Calgary. And I said to Leon, who, there’s not many people I get up at, you know, 3 45 in order to make a flight to spend the whole day with.

Yeah. And your reply back was there’s not many people I get outta. Pick up at the airport at seven 30 and I’m like, I hear you, girl. That’s true. Right. But it’s prioritizing. We literally wanted every single moment of the day we could have together. So one of the exercises, friendship about life is call it the glass ball exercise.

And so there’s some balls in your life that are glass. And when they break, they shatter. And is you can, when you glue them back together, they’re never the same. Never the same. No. Nope. and there’s lots of balls that are rubber and you can drop them and they bounce or you can leave them and pick ’em up when you need to.

Yeah. And so one of the exercises, when I’m working with clients on figuring out their priorities in life, and when we’re working on things like balance or making time between friends and work and family and kids [00:29:00] and et cetera, et cetera, is what are your sacred glass balls and labeling them and you can’t have, you know, two dozen of them.

Yeah. Right. You, you probably can only have like five, maybe mm-hmm, , that’s probably as many as you can juggle and keep in the air at once. And what are those? And then how do you actually think about your time and slotting those into your calendar first? Right? And then what are the rubber balls? Mm-hmm that you can flex and they can ebb and flow and friendships can be glass balls that you hold sacred.

And they don’t have to be a day to day thing. Yeah. But how you make time and energy space. Right. So we have not lived in the same city for probably 10 years. Yeah. At least class. Yeah. And yet we always create space and time for each other. Yeah. Yeah. We do. And to me that shows that prioritization and that investment because you’re right in today’s day and age with social media and information overload and things coming at us and wearing smart watches.

Yeah. And cell phones going crazy left. Right. And center is the biggest gift we can give us [00:30:00] attention. Yeah. It really is. And quality time. Yeah. And so thank you for making the quality time or making the time to be here with me today. And yeah. I love this concept of glass balls and rubber ball. It’s so simple.

When you think about it, that’s what I love about these analogies when it’s like, oh yeah, that’s a no brainer. And you need to take care of the glass balls. You can’t just throw them. You can’t just like certain things, even though they may have been there for a long time, they’re still fragile. They require care.

They require attention and. Not to take advantage of that, or just assume that everything’s gonna be, you know, O okay. I guess. Um, so I absolutely love this concept. 

If you’ve tuned into shows on the, the, on the glow Joe episode, before you know, that I’m a huge fan of making notes in my iPhone. And so I’m gonna make a note, like my glass ball, friends, and then. I’m actually going to write down their names and then make a note for like, how can I prioritize them or how can I make them feel special?

 The thing I wanna [00:31:00] add to that, if I can, is that, it’s about what I love that you said is it’s about personalizing your connection with each friend, right.

And the glass ball exercise can be about friendships. It can be about the things in your life. Yeah. So for example, you know, I do a lot with what are the glass balls? Yes. So it could be family, it could be health, it could be. you know, exercise. Yeah. It could be friendship. So what are those? And then within those glass balls, what’s important to you, right?

Yeah. And so that’s an exercise that I think we should encourage everyone to do. Yes. I agree. Is take a note, right? Grab a coffee, a glass of wine. Yes. Whatever feels good to you and write down what are those glass balls and how are you gonna hold them near and dear and up in the air and protect them? Yes.

And what are the rubber ones? You can ebb and flow and let bounce sometimes. Yeah. I love that. 

So we’ve talked a lot today about our friendship. It sounds like I’m like, I love Chelsea now. You know, why isn’t she incredible?

I mean, thank you for joining me here. You are so full of wisdom and you’re so inspiring and so thoughtful. And I always learn so [00:32:00] much from our interactions. Are there any final takeaways or anything that you would love to leave the Glo Joe audience with. Is really listen to intuition, check in with your heart and what feels good.

Yeah. Right. And don’t settle for friendships. That don’t feel good. Yeah. Amen to that. Yeah. Yeah. And I love, like you can tell Chelsea listens to the glow, Joe, because at the glow, Joe, we’re all about fueling your feel. Good. Yeah. And. You know, I’d like to say that’s not on a hedonistic level, although sometimes that can be fun, but it’s more about getting in touch with like what nourishes your soul.

Yeah. What really nourishes you and feels good and feels aligned and true from the inside out. Yeah. 

One other thing that comes to mind before we wrap up, 

if you have not reached out to a friend recently, But they are a glass ball, reach out to them and let them know what you appreciate about them, what you honor or respect or admire about them, because actually sharing.

So I’m a big gratitude [00:33:00] fan mm-hmm . And I, I write my gratitudes and I do all of this, but there’s something I call active appreciation. And that’s where you actually take it one step further and you reach out to that person and you give them a compliment or let them know why you’re grateful for them and what you appreciate about them.

Thanks again for being here, Chelsea, and for everyone listening, I will make sure to link to Chelsea’s website and how you can reach out to her.

In the show notes. And so if you want to connect with her professionally as a coach, I highly recommend her again. I’ve learned so much from this woman and I really, I feel like you’ve shaped the way that I’ve been able to show up as a leader in my life and especially professionally as well. 

Well, thank you for having me, Leanne. I’m such a die hard listener. And so it’s so fun to be on here and do it in person. I know this was a blast.

This was fun. And do you know what? I’m not nervous anymore? I think I finally loosened up I was so nervous to be, you know, so thank you for supporting me in that and for holding space and for everyone listening, stay tuned because next week I’m going to have [00:34:00] an exciting episode coming up and. Yeah. Maybe I’ll hear more from Chelsea chat with Chelsea.

I think it’s a thing. Thank you for joining me. I appreciate you. And I appreciate you taking the time to be here with me because I know life is busy and I hope that by you tuning into the glow, Joe, it is fueling your feel good. And you’re prioritizing what’s important to you in life. All right. That’s that’s all for now.

Bye.

xo leanne

+ show Comments

- Hide Comments

add a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Browse By Category

Personal growth

business

PODCAST

Lifestyle

Welcome to The GlowJo!

Home
work with leanne
About

HEY YOU!

follow along on instagram...

Send me a note >

@leannekallal

© THE GLOWJO 2021

Podcast
blog